How to Help a Loved One Who is Battling Addiction

HopeXchange is proud to welcome guest blogger Bethany Hatton. Bethany, a retired librarian with 32 years of experience, created PreventAddiction.info after her oldest grandson became addicted to opioids. Though she discovered there is no guaranteed way to prevent addiction; she was able to find many helpful resources that can keep the public up to date on the latest prevention, addiction, and recovery information.

Photo via Pixabay by Free-Photos

Photo via Pixabay by Free-Photos

Millions of Americans suffer with addiction to substances, and unfortunately, it can be an extremely difficult behavior to break free of. Some individuals rely on substances to help them get through tough emotional times, while others have undiagnosed mental health disorders that can seem minimized by drug abuse, although in reality, substances only make things worse.

It can be disheartening and even scary to watch someone you care about descend into substance abuse, in part because it’s so hard to know how to help without pushing them away. However, it’s imperative to reach out if you believe a loved one is engaging in harmful abuse of a substance. ADrugRehab.org points out, “Addiction is tricky and calculating, and it’s the only disease that can take more than one person down with it, if it is left unchallenged. Addiction dramatically alters the lives of not just the addicted person, but of everyone within his or her vicinity, namely family and friends.”

Here are a few of the best tips on how to help someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol.

Do some research

It’s important to educate yourself on the symptoms, causes, and warning signs of substance abuse before anything else. Knowing these things will help you keep an open mind when it comes to helping your loved one. It’s okay if you don’t understand everything right away; addiction is a very complex disorder that has many different causes, and no one treatment is right for everyone. For reference, some of the warning signs of substance abuse include:

  • Refraining from engaging in social activities
  • A decline in personal hygiene
  • Mood swings
  • Sudden decline in performance at school or work
  • Changes in eating and sleeping habits

These symptoms can also be indicative of a mental health disorder, however, so look for telltale signs that your loved one is engaging in unhealthy activities, such as a powerful scent of alcohol around them, dilated pupils, confusion, or cognitive issues.

Give them love and support

Every individual who is battling addiction is different; some people don’t even realize it’s become a problem until a loved one speaks up. Some suffer from depression and feel they are alone. Others feel guilty or sad about a past occurrence and use substances to numb the pain. Let your loved one know that you are here for them and that you love them, and the earlier the better. Don’t wait until they’ve had legal trouble or have lost a job to show your support.

Hold back the guilt

Many people who are battling addiction know that what they’re doing is harmful to their own health and to their families, but can’t physically break the addiction. They may already be feeling guilty, so it’s a good idea to refrain from bringing up topics that will add to it. Instead, be supportive and use phrases like, “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you.” Not using words of blame and focusing instead on how they must be feeling will show them that you’re genuinely concerned and want to help.

Many people who are engaged in substance abuse become defensive when confronted about it; others are simply in denial. Be prepared for either reaction, and encourage your loved one to seek help. Let them know that they can move at their own pace and that you will be by their side to help them through even the hardest times. Assist your loved one in looking for a counselor or therapist, or in finding an online therapy group if they are unsure about how to get started.

Why Grief Can Lead To Substance Abuse, And What You Can Do About It

HopeXchange is proud to welcome guest poster Jeff Ferris. Jeff is the founder of RehabCentersInNJ.com, New Jersey’s premiere recovery service. He is partner with a network that has helped thousands of people get back to the road of substance abuse and mental health recovery.

Over the counter pain relievers

Grief is hard for anyone to deal with, but for a mother, it can be crippling or even deadly. There is no feeling that is as devastating as losing a child.

Many people know that it’s not the way God intended it. Children outlive their parents, but few know the real pain of a mother who’s in it.

It’s sad when other people pass away, but it’s just not the same as when a woman loses the baby that she carried in her womb and loved from day one.

I write this to let you know, as a WARNING, a mother can be susceptible to drug or alcohol abuse. This isn’t a stretch of the imagination, I know. But I wanted to bring comfort and let you know the alternatives, so that when you have better days it won’t be drowned out with artificial stimuli. Instead, the better day will be a step in the right direction to make the best of your time here on Earth.

It’s logical to think you just want to turn the pain off

When you lose a child, all the dreams and plans that you had for the child are shattered within seconds.

The reality of lost dreams cuts to the core of your soul. It is so sharp and piercing that your mind fills with thoughts such as, “What can I do to just make this pain stop?”

Substances Can Work Like an on/off Emotion Switch

It’s actually quite easy for someone to turn to substances at that time, especially if they don’t have any support from others. They may not intend to abuse such substances. The initial ingestion may just be an honest attempt to dull the excruciating pain.

Unfortunately, both alcohol and drugs, even prescription drugs, can grab hold of a person quickly in terms of physical dependence. Narcotic painkillers, for example, often hook legitimate patients before they even finish their first prescription.

Imagine the temptation of a woman who loses a child in a horrific surgical process and then realizes that the very pills that the doctor prescribed her could eliminate her emotional pain. Wouldn’t she be tempted to just keep taking those pills forever?

That’s just one real-life example. That particular woman didn’t develop a substance abuse habit, but it would have been easy for her to do just that- and it wouldn’t have been her fault in the least. Grieving women who do fall into these traps deserve some understanding.

If you are someone who is suffering from this issue right now, then you deserve some love. There are supportive people in the world who understand your pain precisely, and there is a way for you to get your life back on track

Alternative: What You Really Need as a Grieving Mother

The devastation that you’re going through needs a specific kind of attention. You have to enter into two battles: one that will help you with the loss of your child, and one that will help you with the substance abuse.

Many times, people try to offer condolences, and they don’t help because they end up saying the wrong things. What you need is a group of people around you who have grieved in a similar fashion and have come through it in good spirits. I’m glad sites like this exist to help you relate and let you feel like you’re not alone. However, a page on a site can’t fulfill our need for companionship, especially in devastating times.

You need people who understand how heartbreaking it is to have a life inside of you and have it ripped away from you at any stage. For your recovery, you can use a variety of resources. A full-blown rehabilitation center will give you the highest recovery percentage, but that doesn’t mean that you have to go that route.

You could sign up for outpatient rehabilitation, 12-step programs or counseling services that address your specific needs. If you’re a private type of person, you could perhaps get one good friend who will hold you accountable for your actions, encourage you, pray for you and do beneficial activities with you while you go through the difficult stages of recovery.

Self-help is not out of the question or ineffective by any means. You can fight the battle alone, but it is always better to have at least one other person in your corner.

Other in-home things you can do to help cope is:

  1. Drink Caffeine – it’s better than narcotics
  2. Try Art Therapy – any hobby will do, something to help build creativity
  3. Prayer – Giving yourself to a higher power can bring comfort and tie you into a community of good people

You’re a unique individual with unique circumstances, so your resolution may not be the same as someone else’s. You may want to contact a referral service or an anonymous hotline so that you can get someone who can refer you to the best resource for you. No matter what you do, remember that time and faith heal all things.

If you are not on narcotics then you are ahead. Sometimes we don’t care for much psychological babble about “grieving processes.” However, counselors and strong friends and family are the best thing for anyone grieving.

Please consider getting help. Professional or not, reach out, this is your time of need and good people are there to help.

I hope all goes well with you.