Connecting with and expressing the anger felt during grief is an important step towards the healing process. Unresolved anger can lead to negative or pessimistic thoughts, becoming easily agitated, or even upsetting others to relieve your own anger.
Anger can be a difficult emotion to handle.
Here are some steps you can take if you are feeling angry:
- Write a letter to the person you feel angry with: yourself, your baby, your spouse, a family member, or even God.
- Talk to a close friend or a professional about the anger you are feeling.
- Find a healthy outlet for your anger such as punching a pillow, intense exercise, screaming aloud (not at another person), or even running around the block as fast as you can.
- Help another person. Use your restless energy to clean someone’s house, mow a lawn or fix a meal for someone in need. Focusing on others is a great way to take your mind off your pain.
- Cry. Many women (and even men) release their anger through tears.
- Confront the source of your anger. If you are angry with a spouse or family member have an honest discussion during a time when you are NOT feeling angry. If needed, ask a close friend or professional to help.
- If you are angry with God or your baby, face an empty chair and have a ‘confrontation,’ expressing your anger.
Feeling anger as a part of grief is a perfectly normal reaction to your loss. Resolving that anger is an important step toward healing.
The above is an excerpt from the book Hope is Like the Sun
As I look back over the Christmas Holiday that just passed, there was another story of grief and loss; a baby that was never born. The grand daughter of a good friend experienced a miscarriage that was followed with three months of physical complications and pain. Her emotional saga finally came to a close with a final procedure that took place the week before Christmas.
