- Remember that men normally grieve in private- not in public. You may not see outward signs that a man is grieving, but do not be fooled. Understand that a man in grief will find himself in a difficult position- he will be shamed if he expresses deep emotions in public and he will be shamed if he does not.
- Be aware that men often experience anger differently then women during grief. While women may tend to point anger inward, men often direct their anger outward. This can manifest as anger toward you or even God. Remember that expressed anger is a normal and healthy response, however hostile behavior is not.
- Listen. Remember that some men want to talk, but they feel there is no one to listen. A man may also be uncomfortable putting his feelings into words. Encourage him by listening during those times when he does talk about it.
- Ask what you can do. It is very important to ask what you can do to help a man during his grief, and then do your best to meet his needs.
- Keep an open mind. Remember that grief is an individual experience. Assuming that a man is not feeling pain if he grieves differently than you will only cause strife and misunderstanding.
Dealing with pregnancy loss is difficult for anyone. Understanding a man and giving him the space and support he needs will be cricital.
No one can deny the incredible feat that has been completed by Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine this past December- it is the future application that may get you thinking. Scientists there have devised a testing procedure for couples who are carriers of genetic diseases who are undergoing in vitro fertilization.
The groundbreaking test measures viable embryos for chromosomal abnormalities before they are implanted. In vitro embryos are so small and have so little DNA that only limited testing has been possible. This new technique creates a “carbon copy” of the DNA that can make multiple genetic tests possible. After testing, embryos that are free of genetic or chromosomal abnormalities can be implanted.
For couples who are known carriers of a genetic disease, in vitro is becoming a more popular route because it does allow some genetic testing to be done. The benefits of this discovery for these parents is undeniable.
With this new technique, one has to wonder if perfectly heathy couples could decide to have the testing. And who’s to say what could potentially result from the ability to see your child’s DNA before he/she is born? Could this type of testing open the door to a society we’ve only seen in Science Fiction movies?
Read more on the testing for yourself at: http://www.newswise.com/articles/new-genetic-testing-technology-for-ivf-embryos.
Welcome new and returning readers from our HOPE Newsletter! I know it’s been quiet for a very long time and we apologize for the long silence. We’ve had a lot of work going on “behind the scenes” creating our new blog and migrating some of the HopeXchange website to it’s new home here! There are still changes to come as we continue to make improvements.
We look forward to offering you more up to date information and posts on our new blog. We will continue to offer support to women and their families who are dealing with miscarriage, stillbirth and infant death. And more importantly, we look forward to the chance to interact with you, and allow you to communicate with one another. This will be a true community and safe place to heal. Let’s make the most of this new opportunity and the support it can offer to each and every one of us.
I read this quote today and thought it fit this new group so well:
“Grief and sadness knits two hearts in closer bonds than happiness ever can; and common sufferings are far stronger than common joys” ~ Alphonse de Lamartine, French Poet
Let us be strong together.