Why Grief Can Lead To Substance Abuse, And What You Can Do About It

HopeXchange is proud to welcome guest poster Jeff Ferris. Jeff is the founder of RehabCentersInNJ.com, New Jersey’s premiere recovery service. He is partner with a network that has helped thousands of people get back to the road of substance abuse and mental health recovery.

Over the counter pain relievers

Grief is hard for anyone to deal with, but for a mother, it can be crippling or even deadly. There is no feeling that is as devastating as losing a child.

Many people know that it’s not the way God intended it. Children outlive their parents, but few know the real pain of a mother who’s in it.

It’s sad when other people pass away, but it’s just not the same as when a woman loses the baby that she carried in her womb and loved from day one.

I write this to let you know, as a WARNING, a mother can be susceptible to drug or alcohol abuse. This isn’t a stretch of the imagination, I know. But I wanted to bring comfort and let you know the alternatives, so that when you have better days it won’t be drowned out with artificial stimuli. Instead, the better day will be a step in the right direction to make the best of your time here on Earth.

It’s logical to think you just want to turn the pain off

When you lose a child, all the dreams and plans that you had for the child are shattered within seconds.

The reality of lost dreams cuts to the core of your soul. It is so sharp and piercing that your mind fills with thoughts such as, “What can I do to just make this pain stop?”

Substances Can Work Like an on/off Emotion Switch

It’s actually quite easy for someone to turn to substances at that time, especially if they don’t have any support from others. They may not intend to abuse such substances. The initial ingestion may just be an honest attempt to dull the excruciating pain.

Unfortunately, both alcohol and drugs, even prescription drugs, can grab hold of a person quickly in terms of physical dependence. Narcotic painkillers, for example, often hook legitimate patients before they even finish their first prescription.

Imagine the temptation of a woman who loses a child in a horrific surgical process and then realizes that the very pills that the doctor prescribed her could eliminate her emotional pain. Wouldn’t she be tempted to just keep taking those pills forever?

That’s just one real-life example. That particular woman didn’t develop a substance abuse habit, but it would have been easy for her to do just that- and it wouldn’t have been her fault in the least. Grieving women who do fall into these traps deserve some understanding.

If you are someone who is suffering from this issue right now, then you deserve some love. There are supportive people in the world who understand your pain precisely, and there is a way for you to get your life back on track

Alternative: What You Really Need as a Grieving Mother

The devastation that you’re going through needs a specific kind of attention. You have to enter into two battles: one that will help you with the loss of your child, and one that will help you with the substance abuse.

Many times, people try to offer condolences, and they don’t help because they end up saying the wrong things. What you need is a group of people around you who have grieved in a similar fashion and have come through it in good spirits. I’m glad sites like this exist to help you relate and let you feel like you’re not alone. However, a page on a site can’t fulfill our need for companionship, especially in devastating times.

You need people who understand how heartbreaking it is to have a life inside of you and have it ripped away from you at any stage. For your recovery, you can use a variety of resources. A full-blown rehabilitation center will give you the highest recovery percentage, but that doesn’t mean that you have to go that route.

You could sign up for outpatient rehabilitation, 12-step programs or counseling services that address your specific needs. If you’re a private type of person, you could perhaps get one good friend who will hold you accountable for your actions, encourage you, pray for you and do beneficial activities with you while you go through the difficult stages of recovery.

Self-help is not out of the question or ineffective by any means. You can fight the battle alone, but it is always better to have at least one other person in your corner.

Other in-home things you can do to help cope is:

  1. Drink Caffeine – it’s better than narcotics
  2. Try Art Therapy – any hobby will do, something to help build creativity
  3. Prayer – Giving yourself to a higher power can bring comfort and tie you into a community of good people

You’re a unique individual with unique circumstances, so your resolution may not be the same as someone else’s. You may want to contact a referral service or an anonymous hotline so that you can get someone who can refer you to the best resource for you. No matter what you do, remember that time and faith heal all things.

If you are not on narcotics then you are ahead. Sometimes we don’t care for much psychological babble about “grieving processes.” However, counselors and strong friends and family are the best thing for anyone grieving.

Please consider getting help. Professional or not, reach out, this is your time of need and good people are there to help.

I hope all goes well with you.

 

Being “Whole”: Holistic Help for Fighting Addiction

HopeXchange is proud to welcome back Constance Ray with another distinguished guest post! Constance co-created RecoveryWell to provide a safe place for people to share their addiction stories so that others can learn from them and benefit in their own lives. In this article, you’ll find excellent advice on conquering addiction in non-traditional ways. Great information for anyone looking to overcome unhealthy habits.

Photo courtesy of Unsplash by Kristopher Allison

Congratulations on your decision to invest in your self care and your future by getting clean. This is an exciting and important decision, even if it feels scary, confusing or overwhelming at first. In fact, today is literally the first day of the rest of your life. Coming clean from drugs and/or alcohol won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

If you don’t have a sponsor or aren’t in recovery yet, you may not be certain where to begin. You’ll probably experience a broad range of emotions, from anger to depression to fear. Know that all of this is normal, and that you don’t have to go through it alone. This article will discuss holistic treatment options that are a perfect complement to (rather than substitute for) more traditional addiction recovery methods.

There are some alternative or “holistic” healing practices that have been shown to help aid the addiction recovery process. Yoga, meditation, Tai Chi, Qi Gong, tapping and many more holistic methodologies are helpful at reducing the body’s stress response, which can of course help reduce the urge to drink or use drugs during stressful situations.

Science is just starting to understand why and how ancient, holistic and alternative healing methods are able to assist with addiction recovery. However, early indications are that it has to do with our stress hormones. When we are stressed, our brains release cortisol and adrenaline, which have been linked to a wide variety of conditions ranging from PTSD to depression to anxiety to – you guessed it – substance abuse.

A recent study showed the effects of yoga for changing the brain. This specific study, which was published in the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine in 2007 (and not to mention, funded in part by the National Institute on Drug Abuse) showed promising results. According to the study, yoga actually changes levels of neurotransmitters in the brain which are associated with anxiety and depression. Because anxiety, depression and stress drive a lot of people to abuse drugs and alcohol (or relapse during recovery), these results are promising for those seeking treatment for their addictions. Yoga has been so powerful in helping people recover from addiction that a documentary has even been made about it. Indeed, many of the world’s leading “celebrity” yoga teachers are themselves former addicts who found recovery thanks to their daily yoga practice.

Like yoga, which is a deeply spiritual practice for many people, there are also several alternative programs out there that focus on spirituality and connection with God or a Higher Power as a key to addiction recovery. Indeed, even the twelve step programs themselves focus on the importance of surrendering to recovery by “letting go and letting God.” However, some people prefer a spiritual approach to addiction recovery without having to go through an actual twelve-step program. If you’ve tried a traditional twelve-step program but haven’t had much luck, you may want to consider reaching out to groups like Celebrate Recovery or LifeRing Secular Recovery for additional help.

While the field of addiction recovery is still relatively new, and there is still such research to be done, recent studies have had very promising results. Those in recovery are currently more empowered than ever to take their lives into their own hands. With so many complementary tools to choose from, you can create a custom- tailored addiction recovery plan that is suited to your individual needs. Good luck on your journey. You’ve already taken the first step!