On Thanksgiving: What if I Don’t Feel Thankful?


Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and as everyone prepares to eat way too much turkey, sweet potatoes and pie, our thoughts turn to the real meaning of the day. What are we truly thankful for? For those dealing with the grief of loss, this simple question can become very difficult.


So what do you do if you aren’t feeling so thankful this Thanksgiving?

First, realize that what you are feeling is normal, but you don’t want to get stuck there. If you’ve ever met anyone who is bitter, you have seen the results of being unable to find the good in life. Not a very good life.

There isn’t a “five-step” program or magic cure for finding thankfulness, but there are some things you can do.

Be on the Look Out.

book of awesomeIf you aren’t looking for good things, they can easily pass you by. Grief can cause us to focus on the what is missing, and not see what is there. A simple way to do this is to get The Book of Awesome. This unique book helps you remember the little things that make us smile like catching all green lights on your way home or popping bubble wrap. Read a page a day to help you find things that you can smile about.

Listen Up.

My Philosophy for a Happy Life: Sam Berns

My Philosophy for a Happy Life: Sam Berns

There are always others who have dealt with difficulties and loss, and have something to share about their journey. These are folks worth listening too- and one of them is Sam Berns. Sam is a high school student who has wisdom beyond his 17 years. Watch his inspiring TED Talk, My Philosophy for a Happy Life and you’ll see for yourself.



Focus on Others. 


Sometimes the hardest thing to do when grief has caused us to lose touch with our thankfulness is to focus on anything else. One of the greatest ways to heal is to help someone else. It may seem strange to reach out when you are hurting yourself, but it is one of the most powerful things you can do to refocus your life. Read our previous post:

Are You Grateful? Soup, Sandwiches and Humble Pie.

Finally, during tough times, take hold of your faith. Focusing on a higher power can shine light in times of darkness. Talk with your pastor, priest, rabbi or trusted friend. Don’t have faith? Find out more here.

Take the time this Thanksgiving season to work on your thankfulness, you’ll be glad you did.